update

Gosh, its been a while

My dad died this year and it is still awful to bear even though it was back in may. I cant believe he is not on this earth but I often feel his spirit. I intend to say more in a further blog at another time.

Mum had an op for cancer later in the year and came through it ok at the good old age of 82. Thank goodness as we were all expecting the worse. It has not been a favourable year for our family

Yesterday, I wanted to end my 4th marriage after a nasty row over nothing (as usual) I love him but I can hate him too. I wonder why I am with him. What does he do for me? Does he even care? I want to say so much but it will just spark another row. We have been married for 6 years...... He gets up late and is on pc most of the day.... although in the same room as me but there is hardly a word.  

The last few weeks I have prepped for Christmas,  shopped, cooked, cleaned, done mountains of dishes. Oh yes he did change the cat litter and empty some bins. I wouldn't mind doing the work if I got some loving back, a hug sometimes 

I came here to let my feelings out and hopefully it will help. I suffer from acute anxiety and need an outlet like this.